By Lisa Chinn

After submitting a powerful resume, being asked to interview for a wellness job is very exciting. Interviews can also be a bit stressful and overwhelming, especially if you don’t feel completely confident. It’s important to be in the right mindset for an interview, and a little preparation can help you look and feel your best.

Earlier in the Day

Make sure you are well rested and not hungry before an interview. Don’t eat a large amount immediately before the interview, as you don’t want digestion to make you groggy. Eat a small snack before the interview or a larger meal a few hours before. If you normally drink coffee or tea, some caffeine beforehand is probably okay. However, keep in mind that caffeine combined with nervousness about the interview can lead to increased anxiety and an uncomfortable jittery feeling.

If you have enough time to exercise before your interview, a workout is a great way to ensure that you are energized but not restless during the interview. Don’t nap immediately before the interview, because you don’t want to appear groggy.

Before Walking in

Before walking into an interview, check to make sure your phone is on silent. It’s also a good idea to use the restroom and look over your appearance in the mirror, checking for food in your teeth or clothes that need adjusting. Most interviewers will offer you water, but it doesn’t hurt to bring a water bottle with you in case you get a scratchy throat during the interview. It’s also okay to bring a small notepad to take down any notes about the job and a printed copy of your resume. Just remember not to let these items distract you from making eye contact with the interviewer and focusing on your responses.

Here are six tips to help during and after a wellness interview:

1. Dress appropriately. Dress professionally when you go to any interview, even if the job would have you wear casual clothes, a uniform, or scrubs. Dressing in professional clothing shows respect for the position and lets the interviewer know you were willing to put in a little effort. Professional clothing for a wellness interview may not necessarily mean a full on suit, although some would recommend a suit.

* Note: Research shows that the average person rates women as more professional when they wear a little bit of natural looking makeup. Each woman has to make that choice for herself. It probably doesn’t hurt to know that a little makeup will seem more professional to most interviewers than no makeup or a large amount of makeup.

2. Act confident. Smile, make eye contact, and have a moderately firm handshake when you meet your interviewers. If you’re a naturally quiet person, make sure you speak up enough so that everyone in the room can hear you. Don’t fidget with your hands, as you don’t want to appear nervous or do anything to distract the interviewers from your answers.
3. Be polite. Work in the wellness industry requires practitioners to be respectful, polite, and tactful with customers, and it’s important to show your interviews that you are capable of being polite.
4. Be prepared. Practice answering questions that you’ve been asked in previous interviews. Be prepared to talk about your work history and what you find appealing about the position you’re interviewing for. Make sure to reread the job posting and company motto beforehand so that you can focus your answers on the qualities that make you a strong candidate for the position.
5. Ask questions. Some people worry that asking questions during a job interview makes them appear less smart or less prepared. The truth is that asking questions shows the interviewer that you are thoughtful and interested in the company and position. Just don’t ask right away about salary, vacation time or other job perks. You want to seem genuinely interested in the wellness field, not money and benefits.
6. Send a follow-up email or card after the interview. Thank the interviewers for their time spent with you, and reiterate your interest in the job.

Friends, parents and colleagues can also help you prepare for an interview by asking you potential interview questions or giving you feedback on how you come across in social situations. The more you practice acting confident and comfortable answering interview-like questions, the more natural you will feel during an actual interview.

If you’re well dressed, prepared, and confident during an interview, don’t feel bad if you don’t get hired right away. Even if you feel you answered each question perfectly, there are many reasons why an employer may or may not hire you. It really is important to have a job that’s the right fit for you, and sometimes the fifth job you interview for is a better match than the first four. Always keep trying, and your confidence will show through and help you find the right wellness job for you.

I fall and I fall and I fall again.

Oh look! I just fell again!

In fact…I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

This commercial really isn’t supposed to be funny. But it kinda is.

At least, that’s how I feel.

Ya know when you are trying…really trying…to reach a goal, only to @$%# it up only weeks, days, hours…sometimes minutes into being on the right track?

I am struggling. Like a lot of other people, I am struggling.

There are a few goals I am trying to reach…actually many…but a few in particular that I am thinking of…and I just wish I could stick to the plan peeps! Or maybe that is my problem. I need a better plan.

Or maybe more will power. Or maybe I am just weak. Maybe I am just not cut out for this shit. Maybe I really have fallen and I can’t get up. No matter how hard I try.

The thing is…I know I can.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

If a little train can motivate itself to reach a goal, then I will be damned if I can’t!

One of the things I struggle with is losing this baby weight.

How long can I call it that, by the way? My baby just turned one, so does it still apply? Can I still use that as an excuse to not get up?

Oh…and remember…I broke my foot and mangled my other ankle when I was pregnant. That has got to count for some “I can’t get up” points, no? Give me a frickin break! Just not my foot again…please!

Yeah, OK, I will have a chocolate bar, AND sit my ass down on this chocolate bar bench. That will get me somewhere!

Then I use the “I will start again on Monday” line. Yeah…OK then. That works. It is now Thursday, so I have three days to eat all the frickin crap I want and then on Monday I will get up and be perfection!

NOT.

Carbs be gone! The treadmill will become my lover. And by Boxing Day I will be running to Victoria’s Secret to apply for next year’s runway show!

Obviously the Monday thing is only making matters worse. So now I am thinking the famous New Year’s resolution will get me up. 2012, here I come! Watch out…come January 1 I will be running off that celebratory champagne in the frikin snow! Who cares how cold it will be? It will be a new year and a new me! Yes!

Ahhhh…the New Year’s resolution diet. Anyways…

Speaking of cold…did I mention I am going to Mexico in May? Yes. And I will be the Matron of Honor for one of my besties in her destination wedding. With her two skinny bridemaids. Awesome! I was 37 weeks preggers with my first baby in her first wedding and talk about fat! And now?

Have you seen the movie “Bridesmaids”?

I actually have not, but I have seen numerous scenes from it and the funny, fat one? That is gonna be me if I don’t get up. I figure everyone needs a funny, fat girl in their wedding party.

Hey, what’s wrong with the funny, fat girl? She was the best one in this movie I hear.

So yeah….Mexico. That means sun. That means the ocean. That means swimming. And generally speaking, that usually means bathing suit. And right now, to me, that means a nervous breakdown if I don’t get up.

So I’ve fallen. Again.

But I’m getting up.

And while those other lovely bridesmaids will surely be wearing inappropriately small bikinis, I will be happy with a modest one-piece.

So forget Monday. Forget New Year’s. Forget this self-depreciating toro-caca. This self-loathing, funny-fat-girl routine that I use to cover up how crappy I feel about the way that I look.

I just got up.

Lora Rossi is the mother of 3 boys, a wife, freelance writer, blogger, artist, DYIer, certified home stager and non-profit executive with a degree is Sociology / Family & Child Studies from The University of Guelph. Lora has a passion for connecting with and helping others, especially through the creative arts and the written word. On a continuous journey to live an authentic life and to remind others of the importance of doing the same, Lora blogs and writes to evoke thought, feeling and action. For more of Lora’s musings, please visit her blog The Hugging Home at http://www.thehugginghome.com

Find her on Twitter @thehugginghome and on Facebook at The Hugging Home

A powerful resume is essential for job seekers in the wellness industry. Your resume gives a prospective employer a first impression of you, and it’s important to make it a positive one. The ideal resume is informative, yet not overwhelmingly wordy. Many employers receive a huge number of resumes when they list an open position, so they aren’t going to waste time reading a confusing resume. It’s important to make sure yours is clear and easy to read or skim quickly.

As with any industry, resumes for the wellness industry typically have different sections to make it easier to find information quickly. When writing a resume, I like to get this basic information written down and then go back and add more character and details later.

Here are some basic sections that a wellness industry resume should have:

1. Objective. The objective section should go towards the top of your resume and tell the employer what kind of position you’re looking for in one or two sentences. If you’re looking only for full or part-time work, indicate this preference in the objective section. The objective section is also a good place to indicate a specialty that you focus on. For example, a strong objective section sentence might read, “Objective: To find part-time employment practicing deep tissue massage at an upscale spa.” However, many people are now moving away from stating an objective on their resume and are instead discussing career goals in a cover letter.
2. Profile. Write a short paragraph about yourself, focusing on your passion for wellness and your experience in the wellness industry. If you have positive personal qualities that might not show through in your work and educational history, this is a good section in which to discuss them. For example, you might want to mention if you are great at leading a team or excellent with kids.
3. Skills. Wellness professionals, even professionals within the same industry, often have widely varied skills. It’s important to list your specific skills so employers can easily get an idea of what you have to offer. For example, an employer might already know you are an esthetician. Your skills list lets you show off more specific skills, such as experience with laser hair removal, knowledge of a second language, or experience with microdermabrasion. Write this section as a list of bullet points to make it easy to read.
4. Education. List your education and training starting with the most recent experiences. Include any educational achievements, such as graduating with honors.
5. Work history or professional experience. List your previous jobs starting with the most recent one. If you already have experience in your field, it’s okay to leave unrelated jobs off of your resume. If you don’t have much experience in your wellness field, include unrelated jobs to show that you at least have work experience. Concisely explain what you did in each position, focusing on how your work contributed to clients’ wellness.

Many people also include one or two other sections on their wellness resumes. Some optional sections to consider including are:

• Volunteer experience
• Publications and presentations
• Research experience in your field of wellness
• Awards and achievements
• Special licenses and certifications
• Organizations to which you belong

Resume Design

Many people in the wellness industry are very visual. After all, some wellness specialists spend a significant amount of time beautifying their clients and choosing décor that promotes healing. The content of your resume is important, but it’s also very important to make sure your resume is aesthetically pleasing. Here are some design tips to make your resume visually appealing:

• Always print a resume on high-quality paper. If you submit a paper resume rather than an electronic copy, invest in some quality paper. I like to use a slightly off-white paper with a somewhat sturdy texture. Simple borders can be nice, but don’t use anything with distracting and overly fancy designs.
• Try out different fonts. Always pick a font that’s easy to read, but consider fonts other than the standard Times New Roman. Some decent ones to consider include Arial, Garamond, Georgia and Constantia.
• Use bold for section headings, job titles, or other important information to make it easier to find.
• Try aligning your name and contact information to the left and also try centering it. Sometimes one looks better than the other.
• Use bullet points when you list skills, certifications, and licenses.

Resume Specialization

Job hunting often takes time and many applications. It’s a good idea to tailor your resume to different jobs. For example, always double-check your objectives section to make sure it’s accurate for the job you’re applying for. If you applied for a part-time position in the past and are now applying for a full-time one, make sure your objective does not say you are seeking part-time employment. Highlight your skills that would be most valuable in the position.

Editing

After you’ve chosen which sections to include and written them up, it’s time to start editing. Proofread everything for errors and then check the length of your resume. Many hiring managers in wellness will not read resumes that are longer than one page. Shorten your job descriptions as necessary to make the resume a reasonable length. If your resume is significantly shorter than a page, beef it up with more detailed job descriptions or more information about your skills. Lastly, have somebody else proofread the resume to catch mistakes you might have missed.

To find out more about the Ayurvedic treatment of colds, read Eyton’s blog @ http://www.bodymindwellnesscenter.com

Elevated Kapha
In Ayurveda, the common cold is called Pratishyaya and is seen in most cases as an aggravation of the Kapha dosha. Colds infect the respiratory tract; the sinuses and throat are governed by the Lungs, and the Lungs are the seat of Kapha.

The first thing that happens with colds is increased secretion of mucus and phlegm, which are both the result of elevated Kapha. That is why people who are Kapha dominant, and in an unbalanced state due to diet or lifestyle errors, are more prone to colds and sinus infections. But when Kaphas are healthy and balanced, they can have the strongest immune system. It’s a question of balance.

Elevated Pitta and Vatta
Some people’s colds involve the tendency to red inflamed, sore throat and other heat symptoms involving redness and high temperature. This shows the influence of Pitta and has to be treated with more Pitta pacifying medicines and less of the hot herbs mentioned below; however if there is mucus and phlegm we still use the below remedies.

Some people start out hot and or phlegmatic, as above, but end up with dry throat and dry cough. This is fire stimulating wind, or Pitta aggravating Vatta. These people will, for example, need to use more hot milk and honey with the below herbs, and more moistening foods, like pear juice.

The Role of Ama/Digestive Toxins

The other very important factor, especially for people who get repeated colds, or more than the average amount, is the role of Ama or digestive toxins.

When the food we eat is not fully digested, what should be a clear extraction supplying the organs and tissues with high quality nutrition (Ojas) becomes instead toxic sludge that clogs the channels and tissues. This toxic sludge is called Ama.

People with this disease factor have what Chinese Medicine calls dampness and chronic food stagnation. In my San Diego Acupuncture and Ayurveda practice, I see this a lot: pasty puffy skin, constipation, digestive disorders, allergies, chronic fatigue, susceptibility to lung and sinus infection, and above all frequent colds that drag on and on.

Do I Have Ama Accumulation?

People with an Ama accumulation may have

*a thick coating on the tongue
*bad breath
*chronic sinus issues, allergies, chronic colds or bronchitis
*fatigue, lethargy, weakness, non-situational depression
*constipation and or digestive issues like gastritis
*foggy and hard to get up in the a.m.
*pasty, puffy skin

One of first organ systems to be affected by Ama accumulation is the respiratory system, and that makes these people more susceptible to colds and creates the conditions favorable to phlegm and mucus in the lungs and sinuses. It is as if the soil in a potted plant cannot drain well and starts to develop mold and smell bad.

How Do I Develop Ama?

The enemy of Ama is Agni–digestive fire. When Agni is burning bright, it is harder for Ama to collect. But Kapha and Vatta types tend to have weaker Agni, especially Kapha types. Both Kapha-Vatta or Vatta-Kapha have a hard time, as both doshas are cold. Whereas Pitta has naturally strong Agni, so much so that Pitta can be troubled by excessive fire in the body. Obviously, then, it is hot weather that aggravates Pitta, and cold weather that aggravates Kapha and Vatta. Dry cold raises Vatta more and wet cold, Kapha more.

Why We Are More Prone to Ama in Winter?

Midwinter and on is dominated by Kapha, because the weather is itself Kaphic–cold and wet. This makes us more vulnerable, especially if our Kapha is already elevated. And Kapha, being naturally cold and wet, has a more difficult time keeping strong Agni. That is why Kapha needs a diet that is light, lean, and high in vegetables and spices and low in damp producing foods like wheat, dairy, and fatty meat.

The problem, too is that the average American diet, heavy in Ama engendering Kapha building wheat, dairy, and meat, and light in cleansing green leafy vegetable and warming Agni engendering digestive spices gets even worse around holidays, with lots of sugar and heavy feasts that further weaken Agni and build Ama.

The key then is to eat a diet in winter that engenders Agni that keeps the body fires burning bright. This is easy, once you understand the common sense logic of Ayurveda.

But Aren’t Colds Caused by the Rhino Virus?

Yes, of course. But that begs the question of why some people never catch them, and some people always do, and others do occasionally. The ability to withstand exposure to a virus is a function of your immune system. Ayurveda describes this in terms of Ojas/Vigor.

Ojas is the end result of an Agni engendering healthy diet, healthy living, a calm mind, and the blessing of a strong inherited constitution, too. You see Ojas in sparkling eyes, beautiful skin and hair, and healthy energy levels. It governs immunity, and when weak makes us susceptible to disease.

So the issue of susceptibility is key. Yes, colds are the result of an infection by a rhinovirus. And though colds are not “caused” by exposure to cold in the sense of cold being itself an infectious pathogen; it is true that if your immune system is already weakened, and you are over exposed to cold, wet, windy weather, that may be the last straw that makes you unable to fight off the bugs that are going around.

So, one thing to do when you are exposed to cold wet weather, or when you have symptoms that are in and of themselves an excess of wet and cold in your body (phlegm and mucus, feeling cold, chills, sneezing) is to warm and dry the soil of your inner garden.

Ayurvedic Guidelines to Prevent Colds

1. Cold Foods/Warm Foods. Avoid cold foods like ice-cream and yogurt. Some yogurt is fine at noon, but not at night. Follow the general Ayurvedic advice to drink liquids room temp or warm/hot. If you drink milk, drink it hot, simmered with ginger root, cardamom, or clove. Mediterranean sage tea is excellent for warming up after being out in the cold. Get it at Greek, Persian, or Arab markets.

2. Fruit: Stick to apples, pears and other seasonal or dried fruits like dates. Stewed fruits like cranberry sauce and apple sauce are good. Again try using spices. Avoid bananas, these are quite cooling. Good in summer!

3. Veggies: Avoid cold veggies like cucumber, raw tomato, salads–these are “cold” foods that dampen Agni. In summer they are fine, because Agni is naturally strong then. There are regional exceptions. A long hike in the desert sun in San Diego might lead to a small amount of cucumber with lunch, for example.

Favor warming veggies like baked hard squash, root veggies like daikon and parsnip, and as always, green leafy veggies, lightly cooked.

Drink lots of soup! Soups are easy to digest and moisten and lubricate the mucosa in the nose and throat, making it harder for rhinoviruses to penetrate. Good time for warming fish or meat soups with veggies in them like bouillabaisse made with salmon, or chicken soup with garlic and onion and dill.

4. Spices: Keep your insides warm with thermogenic spices — cumin is an excellent burner of Ama. So are ginger, black pepper, coriander, oregano, thyme, sage, fenugreek, fennel. If you drink milk, drink it hot simmered with ginger, cardamom, clove, cinnamon. Add tea and you have masala chai!

Turmeric is an excellent spice that builds immunity and reduces Ama. So is fresh ginger. Use them in lentils, beans, meats and veggies. Any Indian cookbook or cook website will have great recipes. Substitute black pepper for chili pepper unless you are very Kapha dominant.

5. Deserts: Sweet foods are naturally dampening to Agni. Have them, in moderation, especially in early winter, but take them separate from a meal, or in small amounts at the end of a meal, and have them with something that stimulates the digestive fire, like green or black tea, or herb tea made from ginger or fennel or chai spices.

Make your homemade cookies and cakes with less sugar and with spices like cardamom or cinnamon. Stewed fruits are a better choice than cakes. Stew with cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, or clove.

No ice cream or frozen yogurt in winter, please.

Honey is the most warming and least Ama building sweetener. Good choice in tea and beverages. But don’t cook with it; it transforms this wonderful medicine into what Ayurveda considers a poison.

Ayurveda Treatment of Cold

When I studied Ayurveda in Sri Lanka, my teacher Vaidhya Wickeramasinghe taught me how to make a tea out of kitchen spices that is a powerful remedy for Kapha-type common colds with any combination of chills, subjective feeling of cold, aversion to wind, mild cough, stuffed nose, runny nose, easy to expel mucus, low fever, mild sore throat, fatigue. But it can also be used with the flu, though in that case I would combine it with other anti-viral, heat-clearing herbs from Chinese Medicine.

In Sri Lanka it is used especially during the rainy season, when colds are more predominant. It is an excellent balance for the very bitter cold herbs like Echinacea and goldenseal that are popular in USA and Europe for colds.

Dr. W’s Ayurvedic Tea for Colds and Flu

Ingredients

6 cups water
Coriander Seed 3 tbsp
Fresh Sliced Ginger Root 5 medium slices
Dried Ginger Powder 1-2 tsp
Green Cardamom Seed or Pods 1 tbsp
Fenugreek Seed 1-2 tbsp
Cumin Seed 2 tsp
Black Cumin 2 tsp (get at Indian market or Amazon)
Fennel Seed 2 tsp
Black Peppercorns, 1-2 tbsp,
more for Kapha type or if lots of runny nose, less for Pitta type.
Cinnamon Stick or Cassia, 1-2 4″ pieces
Clove 1 tsp
Long Pepper,(Pippili) if available, 4 pieces (I have seen for sale at the Chinese market in the Indonesian spice section…also Amazon.com and Indian grocer)
Holy Basil 2 tbsp (grow in your garden and dry for winter, Indian grocers in the health section as a powder, also at health food stores in tea bags, also try Amazon.)

Directions

Bring spices and water to a boil. Simmer for around 40 minutes. If desired, and I do recommend this for Pitta-Vatta and Vatta-Pitta types, add about 1 cup of goat’s, cow, soy, or nut milk and simmer another 5 minutes.

Sweeten to taste with Honey for Vatta or Kapha dominant and raw sugar for Pitta. But if a Pitta feels cold and averse to wind, I give them honey. Do not cook the honey, only add at the end.

Drink a lot of this through the day, up to a quart, as soon as you start to feel sick. If you sweat, change clothes so you don’t get a chill. Stay indoors. Eat light food like toast or rice soup. Rest, rest, rest!

Try to use whole spice rather than powder. It’s just that if you use who you get a clear liquid, if you use powder you can get a muddy broth.

Samahan

If you are too busy to make the above, there is a product that is very popular in Sri Lanka that is now available on line. http://www.samahan.info/index.html
It is very similar to the above recipe, but I warn you, it is very hot. If you are a Pitta dominant you must mix it with milk. You might still get some burning sensations in the lower GI, and use with care if you have a tendency to hemorrhoids.

Anu Thailam

One other product I like is Anu Thailam. I get it from http://www.trihealthayurveda.com/thailams.htm
It is especially useful for allergies and sinusitis, but if you are catching a cold, and you have runny nose as a chief symptom, a drop of this oil in each nostril is very helpful. Read about it on the above website.

Chinese Medicine Herbals

For colds with marked heat signs, like strong, rapid onset, painful sore throat, laryngitis, dark phlegm, I like to use a Chinese formula called Yin Qiao San, which I combine with the above herbal decoction, and take at a high dose for a couple of days. If the person is very run down, I like to use Source Naturals Wellness formula at a high dose for a couple of days. If there is sinus infection or bronchitis I use other formulas like Tong Bi or Qing Fei Tang.

Why I use these and not Ayurveda in these cases is twofold: one, I think Chinese Medicine excels at the differential diagnosis and treatment of hot type febrile illness in a way I have not found Ayurveda to. There is a 2,000 year written tradition on the treatment of infectious disease with hundreds of formulas based on symptom pattern. Ayurvedic treatment is more generalized in this particular case.

Second, I will not use or sell Ayurvedic or Chinese herbal formulas unless I know they are free of heavy metal contamination. The company I use, Ayush, is the only company I know of that can supply test results from independent labs. There are some very popular companies whose products have been found to contain lead, mercury, and cadmium.

This may be the natural result of high levels in the soil, or it may be a result of the deliberate use of heavy metal in the processing of herbs, which was part of Ayurvedic and Western herbal practice until recently when heavy metal toxicity began to be understood.

The first dictum in the Hippocratic Oath is “do no harm!”

Copyright Eyton Shalom all rights reserved, used with permission.

Eyton J. Shalom, M.S., L.Ac. is a licensed practitioner of Chinese Medicine, Acupuncture and Ayurveda  in San Diego, CA.  He has a B.A., Magna Cum Laude, from the University of California at San Diego  and an M.S. from Pacific College of Oriental Medicine. He has been licensed and practicing in San Diego since then 1992. Dedicated to healing from the inside out, Eyton‘s goal is to empower people to treat the causes of disease, rather than just the diseases themselves. Visit him at www.bodymindwellnesscenter.com.

“Biological possibility and desire are not the same as biological need. Women have childbearing equipment. For them to choose not to use the equipment is no more blocking what is instinctive than it is for a man who, muscles or no, chooses not to be a weightlifter.”

- Betty Rollin

Motherhood is a very sensitive and personal thing. It is a very different experience for everyone. Even for those women who are not mothers.

I am a mother. It’s personal.

I say this because in connecting with so many moms through my close friends, acquaintances, through this blog and my social media networking, I have learned a great deal – not only about myself as a mother, but about mothers in general.

As you probably know – or perhaps not – I am the mother of three lovely boys aged ten, seven and 11 months.

The first two pregnancies were very much planned and happened quite quickly.

My baby, well, he was not really planned per se, but when I found out I was pregnant, initial shock turned into excitement and joy pretty quickly. That happened so quickly I am pretty sure he was conceived when my husband smiled at me in that “I Love You” kind of way.

I consider myself very, very lucky indeed.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to be blessed with their children so easily and this fact does not escape me. Hence this post.

Some women have to endure long, stressful, expensive and physically draining fertility treatments in order to have children. Some of these women still do not become mothers.

Some women have to go through similarly draining processes of adopting a child to become mothers. Some still are not blessed with a child. Adoption is not as simple as some may think.

Some women choose to have one child. Choose. Meaning they have one child by choice. And then they are bombarded with people asking them why they are not having any more children. Why don’t they want to give their only child a sibling? Why are they being so selfish?

Some women do not become mothers by choice. Meaning they do not want to be mothers. And then people ask them how they could not want to experience motherhood. Why would you not want a child? How could you not have that maternal instinct? Why are you being so self-centered?

Some women choose to have large families. Some have 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 children. I could keep counting but I think you get the point. But why would someone want so many children? Is that not unfair to the other kids? Have you not heard of birth control?

Some women have a child or more than one child with special needs. Some are very sick. Some require much more care and attention than the “average” child. How do you deal with a child like that? How do you cope? Don’t you ever wish you could escape? God…I don’t know how you do it!!

Some mothers work and their child or children are in childcare, have a nanny or in some way, shape or form spend a lot of time being raised by other people. How could these mothers be so self-absorbed? Why did they even become mothers at all?

Some mothers don’t “work”. Meaning, they don’t work outside the home. They are “stay at home moms”. Some of them have never worked. Some gave up huge careers and lots of power and money to stay home with their children. How could they give all of that up? How could an educated, smart woman in this day and age want to throw it all away to be at home all day? This is not the 1950′s! How to bring women back in time!!! What a boring life of misery they must lead!

Some women don’t have biological children, but are step-moms. Why would you want to raise someone else’s children? Why go through the hassle when they are not even really yours?

Some mothers have a child or children on their own. They are single either by choice or by circumstance. How could a mother do that to a child? How could you have a child knowing that they may not have a father figure in their life? Did you not think about that?

Some mothers are not in a traditional family. Some are in families with two moms. Two lesbians raising a child? How wrong is that? What were they thinking? How are these children going to grow up properly without a father? Who is their father anyways? What did you use, a turkey baster? A sperm bank? Did one of you have random sex with some random guy just to get pregnant? Why would you bring up a child with your lifestyle?

Some women have their children when they are young. Some by choice, some not. How could they ruin their young lives like that? They are in the prime of their young lives and are practically children themselves?

Some women have their children later in life. Don’t they know that there is a higher risk to the child when the mother is older? Did you think about the fact that you are going to be really old when they still need you? Do you not even want to meet your grandchildren? What did you do, focus on your career and then all of a sudden realize you wanted kids? Should have gotten your priorities straight a little earlier don’t you think?

Some women get pregnant and choose to give their child up for adoption. How could a mother do that? How could they carry a child inside their bodies and then give them to complete strangers to raise?

How could women have children of a different race? How could men choose to have children with no women in the home? How could parents who are addicts have children? Why do poor people have kids? Why do rich people have them?

Who? What? Where? Why? When? How?

I know I have certainly failed to cover every scenario. If I missed you, you are not forgotten in my heart.

The point is…and I do have a very poignant one…is that no matter what a woman…or a man for that matter…chooses for themselves…for their children…for their lives…mother, father, whatever…it is THEIR decision. It is their right. No one knows or understands anyone else’s situation. You may think you do…but you don’t.

I get asked all the time if my baby was a mistake. No he was not. I get asked if I wished, after two boys, that my third son was a girl. Was I kinda hoping for a girl? Yeah, maybe a little. But no. I don’t wish my beautiful baby boy was a girl. I get asked if I am going to try for another…go for a daughter. No, I am not. I am blessed with my three sons and I my husband and I both feel like our family is complete.

Maybe others would do something different. And that is fine.

I am a mother. It’s personal.

Why?

Because it is personal.

Lora Rossi is the mother of 3 boys, a wife, freelance writer, blogger, artist, DYIer, certified home stager and non-profit executive with a degree is Sociology / Family & Child Studies from The University of Guelph. Lora has a passion for connecting with and helping others, especially through the creative arts and the written word. On a continuous journey to live an authentic life and to remind others of the importance of doing the same, Lora blogs and writes to evoke thought, feeling and action. For more of Lora’s musings, please visit her blog The Hugging Home at http://www.thehugginghome.com

Find her on Twitter @thehugginghome and on Facebook at The Hugging Home

Most vendors offer wholesale prices for wellness practitioners, which include substantial discounts. As a wellness provider, you should be getting better prices on the products your business uses than the prices the general public pays for these items. What not every wellness practitioner knows, however, is that it is possible to negotiate for prices lower than the standard wholesale prices with many vendors and manufacturers. Lower costs provide your business with a competitive advantage, and you can either make a larger profit or pass on your savings to your customers.

Asking for a lower price can be uncomfortable if you’re not used to negotiating. However, it’s important to remember that vendors are used to negotiating and will still make a profit after being talked down a little bit. A negotiation doesn’t have to feel like you’re arguing or being confrontational; it’s simply a discussion to ensure that your business gets fair prices.

Here are some negotiation strategies to help you get better discounts from manufacturers and vendors:

1. Ask for a general discount. Sometimes, you don’t have to discuss the specifics of your budget, complain about lower competitor prices, or talk about how much you planned to spend. The simplest way to negotiate for a lower price is to simply ask the vendor whether or not they can offer any further discounts or if they have any specials going on.
2. Let the vendor know you expected a lower price. When a vendor quotes you a first price, tell them you were expecting it to be lower.
3. Ask for a discount based on volume. Vendors will sometimes offer you a lower price for buying a larger quantity of items. Say something along the lines of, “I see that your price for three boxes of product is X. If I buy more than three boxes, can I get a lower price per box?”
4. Set a firm maximum price that requires them to lower their price slightly. If a vendor quotes you a price that seems a little high, tell him that you can only afford to spend X amount.
5. Ask the vendor to match a competitor’s lower price. Tell the vendor that you would like to make your purchases through her, but that you’d like her to match a competitor’s lower prices.
6. Offer to pay in full, right then at a discounted price. For example, ask, “If I pay for the entire shipment right now, can you knock X amount off of the price?”
7. Offer to buy additional products from them if they offer a discount. If you’ve only discussed the prices for one product, offer to give the vendor more business by buying a second product – if he can give you a discount on both. Say something like, “We’ve only discussed prices for X item. If I give you more business by buying both X and Y, could you give me a discount?”
8. Ask them for a discount that doesn’t involve directly lowering the item price. For example, ask for free shipping, free brochures or other point of sale materials, free shopping bags, samples of other products, or free delivery if you agree to buy at least a certain amount from the vendor.
9. Ask for a discount for long-term loyalty. Ask whether the vendor can offer a discount if you commit to ordering the product from them for an extended length of time, such as the rest of the year. Say something along the lines of, “If I commit to automatically reordering every two months this year, can you give me a better discount?”
10. If you have close friends who work in your industry, discuss vendors and price negotiations with each other. Then you can say to a vendor, “I know you sold this item to my friend’s spa at X price, can you give me a similar price?” 

If you’re having a difficult time negotiating with vendors, consider having somebody else do the negotiations for you. One of your business-minded employees may feel more comfortable with price negotiations than you do. If you have an employee negotiate with vendors, you can set a specific price ceiling and stop worrying about getting talked into paying a higher price.

It’s also important to remember that the vendor still has to make a profit. You want to get the lowest price possible, but vendors and manufacturers have to make money too. Don’t worry too much if you’re only able to negotiate a price slightly lower than the original price. Just make sure you tried your best and that you can still make a profit from the items you buy. If you shop around for the best deal you can find and ask for discounts, you will probably find a fair price.

When you get to a point where you have one strong, successful wellness practice, it may be a financially smart idea to think about expanding. Expanding your practice gives you the opportunity to help a wider range of clients and it can also mean more income for you over time. Building a larger or additional practice can require a lot of time, effort and resources, and it’s important to make sure you have a solid business plan ahead of time.

Financing an Expansion 

As soon as you start thinking about expanding, start setting aside money to finance the expansion. Chances are, you will need a significant amount of money to buy additional equipment, hire employees, decorate a second workspace and sign a second lease. The expansion will hopefully be more profitable in the long run, but you need to have some savings in order to expand your wellness practice. It’s also important to document every business-related expense, because this information can help you with tax deductions.

Hiring Contracted Services

A larger practice or multiple practices will mean more work. You may no longer be able to take care of everything on your own after an expansion, so it’s important to plan for others to take on some of the workload. Consider delegating some of your responsibilities to other specialist service providers. Some services to consider bringing in before an expansion include:

• Bookkeeping
• Tax preparation
• A cleaning service
• A marketing specialist
• Somebody to help with web design and website updates
• Legal help

Many independent practitioners do their own bookkeeping, taxes, cleaning and marketing, but it will be difficult to do all of these things yourself as your practice expands. You can contract experts to help with these tasks after you expand, but it’s very helpful to build a team of people you trust before expanding.

Hiring Staff Employees

In addition to engaging outside contractors to help with your practice management, you might also need to hire some additional wellness practitioners and other staff members to help see clients. It can be very helpful to hire a part-time receptionist to greet clients, schedule appointments and reorder supplies. Since a receptionist is often the first person clients speak to or see, make sure to hire somebody who is personable and able to set the tone you want for your business.

Set some standard procedures for new staff members to follow so that things run smoothly and efficiently. Many clients will appreciate some consistency between different practitioners within the same practice, so teach new staff the ways that you do things. For example, set standard products, pricing and session lengths. Consistent standards ensure that you have quality control over all aspects of your larger business and that clients will be happy with your services as well as the treatments your employees perform. Make sure you have back-up therapists trained in your treatments and a plan for coverage for sick employees/therapists.

It can also be helpful to hire staff members with some different strengths than you have. For example, if you aren’t great with computers, consider hiring a college student studying a subject that requires excellent computer skills as a part-time receptionist. If you work as an esthetician, you could hire another esthetician to help you take on more clients. However, it might also be a good idea to hire a practitioner with a complementary wellness specialty, such as a massage therapist or a nail specialist. Choose staff members who fit in well with your practice, and know when to hire somebody similar to you versus somebody who can offer different skills than you possess.

Maintaining Client Relationships
Despite the huge business significance implied in an expansion, your loyal clients are still what keep you going. Throughout the process of expansion, make time to communicate with your current clients.  If you have to close temporarily to remodel or have to stop treatments for any reason, warn clients about the closure as early as possible. Let them know when you reopen and them back.

Clients put a large amount of trust in you when they come to you for treatments, so it’s a good idea to continue seeing as many of your regular clients as possible. You might have more responsibilities after an expansion, but make sure to allow time for your regular treatment sessions. Long-time clients will often feel shunned if you stop seeing them yourself and instead try to get them to see an employee of yours. If you’re really busy, you can direct new clients to additional practitioners hired during the expansion. Remember that expansion is a positive change, but you need to keep some things consistent for loyal clients who liked what you offered before you expanded.

- Carl Jung

Addiction is a lonely thing. People may know you have an addiction. People may be fine about the fact that you have an addiction. You may flaunt your addiction, talk about your addiction, laugh about your addiction, write about your addiction.

Blog about it even.

But even though it is out there, it is lonely. People know….but they don’t really know. Every addiction is its owner’s alone and even though millions of others have the same addiction as you, they don’t have yours. Like a clover in a garden of clovers, you are clumped together in a sea of green weeds, all the same. Damn weeds! But if you look more closely, each clover…each little petal-leaf of each clover…is different. Slightly different hues of green, different shapes although they all look like hearts. Lonely hearts. So lonely are their hearts that Sgt. Pepper could recruit each one for his band and then become a producer and make a whole bunch of bands and make millions and millions of dollars and win Grammys and live in a big empty house in the hills of Hollywood. How lonely.

You eat and you enjoy mom’s cooking but that hidden wrapper, that burger you ate when no one was with you, that giant bag of chocolate covered almonds you have in your bedside table. Under the magazines and the books and the scarf…just to be safe. You cry together but they don’t hear you in the shower, your tears melting into the teaming water drowning out the heaves of sadness. Of loneliness. Because you are by yourself with all you are…or more precisely, who you perceive yourself to be. A loser. A weakling. A confused freak.

They bring you bottles and bottles to your holiday open house and you smile and toast to the season and the New Year. Laughing, laughing. Crying, crying. Because you opened a bottle before breakfast and snuck some into your orange juice. Mommy is so fun today…so happy! She makes pancakes and does a silly dance and gives kisses. So full of life. Sew a needle pulling thread. Hemming his pants, her life. Shorter and shorter. Lonelier and lonelier.

The family watches “Funny Home Videos” together every Sunday. It is something you look forward to. And then the show that’s after that. And then the one you taped yesterday. And the one you taped last month. You have to keep up. So much to watch! I can’t miss seeing the one where Kim gets engaged – that ring! – or the one where Oprah talks to people who watch too much TV and drink too much booze and eat too much crap and steal too many tubes of lipstick because they can’t afford plastic surgery. Or the season finale of Dexter. You like Dexter. Even though he’s a serial killer. That’s a serious addiction. A lonely addiction. Like yours. But at least punishment for what you do isn’t an electric chair.

It’s OK. It’s not a problem. Life is grand. Then again, whose life is this? Filling cracks…the voids…with sand that makes its way out slowly. Uneven. The grains all look the same. Like the clover. Like the moms standing in the schoolyard, the women waiting in the bathroom line, the cyclists in the spin class. They look like you. Like me. Wonder why?

Lora Rossi is the mother of 3 boys, a wife, freelance writer, blogger, artist, DYIer, certified home stager and non-profit executive with a degree is Sociology / Family & Child Studies from The University of Guelph. Lora has a passion for connecting with and helping others, especially through the creative arts and the written word. On a continuous journey to live an authentic life and to remind others of the importance of doing the same, Lora blogs and writes to evoke thought, feeling and action. For more of Lora’s musings, please visit her blog The Hugging Home at http://www.thehugginghome.com

Find her on Twitter @thehugginghome and on Facebook at The Hugging Home

We all know what procrastination feels like: the dread of an unpleasant but necessary task, the temporary relief found from postponing the task until a later date, and the buildup of pressure and stress as the task’s deadline approaches. It is possible to be a procrastinator and still complete assignments on time, but a lifestyle of procrastination is stressful and not always conducive to wellness or to the highest quality of work. Some tasks are relatively easy to complete under pressure at the last minute, but stress and rushing can reduce the retention of recently learned information and a person’s ability to focus.

Procrastination and Focus

Many people have trouble keeping their attention on a single task. The incidence of ADD and ADHD diagnoses in our culture is on the rise, and learning to focus is hugely beneficial for academic and career success. Although some people feel they work best under last-minute pressure, procrastination does not make sense from a motivational rewards perspective.

When you procrastinate, you put off work in favor of doing something more fun, like watching a TV program or hanging out with friends. Therefore, when you procrastinate,  you are rewarding yourself before accomplishing a task, rather than after. You are essentially rewarding yourself for having a lack of focus and poor time management skills. Rewards reinforce behavior, so procrastinating reinforces a pattern of poor attention span and unfocused attention.

Many people find that they become more effective workers when they avoid procrastination and reward themselves for work only after they accomplish the task at hand. In fact, avoiding procrastination and allowing yourself to do a fun activity only after completing your work is a commonly recommended behavioral technique for treating ADHD.

Tips for Overcoming a Habit of Procrastination

• Plan a set time to work on a task. If you leave a specific timeslot in your schedule open for a specific activity, you will be less likely to procrastinate than if you have a vague plan to accomplish the activity sometime before its deadline.
• Reward yourself after you complete a task that you didn’t procrastinate on. Allow yourself to turn on some music you like, make a comforting cup of tea, watch a movie you’ve been looking forward to, take a short nap or do something else you enjoy.
• Do high priority tasks and tasks with the earliest deadlines first. Sometimes I start procrastinating by tricking myself into thinking I’m still doing important work. For example, I will procrastinate on an important work assignment by doing the dishes. Dishes aren’t a particularly fun thing to do, so it feels like I’m not procrastinating as much as if I were to go out with a friend. Making sure to work on the highest priority task at any given moment has really helped me cut back on procrastination.
• Reduce distractions. Everyone’s distractions are different, but this concept might mean things like signing out of your email while doing something important on the computer, putting your office in a quiet location and turning your phone on silent.
• Get enough sleep and eat healthy foods. Physical wellness directly relates to your willpower and ability to self-regulate.
• Keep your blood sugar levels stable by keeping a piece of fruit, cheese or almonds nearby. Low blood sugar levels have been shown to reduce the ability to self-regulate, making you more likely to give into the temptation of procrastinating.
• Practice self-regulation. Like other skills, self-regulation is something that you get better at with practice. Start out by sticking to relatively easy schedule restrictions, such as waking up at the same time every day or walking the dog at the same time after work each day. These small exercises in self-regulation will help you avoid procrastinating on larger tasks in the future.

Breaking out of my habit of procrastination has felt like taking a weight off of my shoulders. Back when I was in college, I was constantly stressed out about some assignment or another, yet always found time to go out with friends or watch a TV program. Nowadays, I do my work before my fun tasks and still have time for both – without the stress.

Overcoming procrastination will help your overall wellness by reducing stress. It doesn’t have to be a sudden and complete lifestyle overhaul; slow steps like rewarding assignments completed early and slowly making your schedule more regimented will help greatly. Overcoming procrastination may also improve your ability to focus, meaning that you can accomplish tasks more quickly and get more done in both your work and personal life. Procrastination is such a common habit that it often goes unnoticed. Upon getting rid of it you might find even more benefits than you expect.

We often regard wellness as a physical, emotional and financial state of being, while overlooking the impact words have. The relationships between physical, emotional and financial health are interconnected. Physical issues can lead to emotional distress, and vice versa. Having a stable financial state means being able to afford health care and buy healthy foods, in addition to reducing worries over money. These relationships seem obvious. However, an incredibly important and often-overlooked contributor or deterrent to wellness is our words.

For years, studies have demonstrated higher illness recovery rates, better mental health states and stronger immune systems in people with positive attitudes compared to more pessimistic individuals. Words can either contribute to or detract from a positive outlook and wellness. For example, making an effort to tell yourself that, “Everything is going to be all right,” in a difficult situation can improve your outlook. When you feel better about an issue, you also become more motivated, more energized, and more able to find a solution. Positive words don’t just make you feel better; they also give you the determination needed to actually get through problems and make a huge impact in your wellness.

Here are some tips to help stay positive:

• If you have something difficult to accomplish, don’t constantly remind yourself and others how difficult and stressful it is. Instead, remind yourself that you will feel great when you finish.
• When an outcome isn’t what you expect, don’t tell yourself that you failed. Instead, focus on what you learned from the experience and what you can do better next time.
• Smile when you talk. Smiling is an instant mood-booster and will lead to more positive words and outcomes.
• Acknowledge difficult situations for what they are, but spend time talking about solutions instead of complaining about the situation.

Hidden Meanings

Our words are also insights into our views on life. Sometimes our words reveal hidden fears and anxieties that we aren’t even aware of. For example, I can tell that I’m feeling really worried or negative about an obstacle in my life when I catch myself telling multiple friends and family members about it. Conquering apartment hunting, graduate school applications, or a job interview might not seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things. However, I’ve caught myself talking about these things repeatedly and realized that I was feeling more stressed and negative about them that I wanted to admit. I was then able to make an effort to find and work on the root of my worries or ask a mentor for help.

You can also gain insights into your attitude by paying careful attention to your word choice. You might not think that any given task is impossible or horrible, but might find that you talk yourself into feeling more negative about it than necessary. If you hear yourself telling a friend that a simple project is going to take a really long time, be difficult or be stressful, you might be able to make it less daunting by improving your attitude. Negative words don’t have to be external; it’s also important to pay attention to your inner dialogue and try to keep it positive. There are big differences between saying or thinking, “I don’t know if I can do this,” and, “This is going to be stressful, but I can probably do it,” and finally, “I’m going to accomplish this successfully with a little effort.” The task might be the same no matter how you talk about it, but it will usually feel easier and more pleasant to accomplish with a positive outlook.

A recent example that comes to mind is two separate friends who needed to drive to the city I live in from two hours away for similar errands. One told me ahead of time that she wasn’t looking forward to the super long drive, and showed up tired and anxious from driving in a strange city. The other got off the phone saying that she would see me soon, and arrived in a great mood. We all have our own strengths, struggles and experiences, but attitude and words have a huge impact on how difficult it feels to take on or accomplish a task.

Effects on Others

Words impact the speaker, and they also have powerful effects on others. Words especially tend to impact young people, who tend to trust adults’ views on situations and base negative or positive outlooks on the attitudes of those around them. When talking to people it is important to remain aware of the effects that your words might have on their wellness. Insults and angry words can hurt anyone, but they can be especially traumatic for children who look up to adults. Negative words increase others’ stress levels, which negatively impacts mental and physical wellness.

Positive words also lead to greater self-esteem and positive life outcomes. If you tell a child that he can do something if he practices, he will be more likely to work hard and reach his goal. If you tell him that something will be really difficult for him, he might be afraid to try. Children believe what adults tell them and the beliefs instilled in people at a young age can affect their mental and physical wellness throughout their lives.

One of the easiest ways to use words to communicate responsibly is to pay attention to tone. A raised voice or angry words immediately put the listener on edge and can mean the difference between a calm discussion and a scary argument. Even if you’re upset with someone, remember that you will get a much better response from most people if you approach a conversation as a discussion rather than a confrontation.

Insults are also something important to avoid. When we get frustrated with someone, name-calling and mean words can become very tempting. However, insults often make people feel bad about themselves and harm their emotional wellness without helping them understand what they could do to fix the initial problem. Instead of calling a loud neighbor or roommate “rude” or “annoying”, calmly ask if she might be willing to turn down her music. Instead of telling a friend he is “mean”, tell him what he said that hurt your feelings.

Our words both affect and represent our states of emotional and physical wellness, and words also have a huge impact on their recipients. If you weren’t raised in a supportive environment, create one for yourself now by giving yourself permission to try new things and grow from the experience. Positive internal thoughts and positive words reduce stress and have numerous physical benefits as well. It might not be possible to make everything easy by simply willing it to be, but remaining positive leads to healthier and more rewarding lives for you and everyone your words touch.

For more great blog posts, visit Wellx.com.